Zombie Apocalypse (2011) Review

First thing you notice is the fact that we have a SyFy Channel Original Movie, this usually means pretty crappy overall with ass loads of CGI. For those who are uneducated in the ways of SyFy Originals, take any Lifetime Original production and remove the female man hating story and replace it with a Sci Fi (notice the correct way I spelled it, Damn you SyFy!) or horror story, and movie gold has been made. The funny thing is between Lifetime and SyFy originals the acting, effects, audio and overall feel are almost the same. The bottom line here is the fact that most SyFy originals just plain suck and not in the cool "so bad, it's good way".

Zombie Apocalypse is pretty much your run of the mill Z flick. You have a group of random people pulled together as the world goes to undead hell and they must find a way to survive and locate this island called Catalina. Most of these characters are transparent and I did not find myself caring for any of them. When your characters have no real back story and lack any development you cannot expect the viewer to care, much less be able to name the last one that died. If you need good character development in a story like this go watch The Walking Dead on AMC. I knew coming into this that the movie was going to feature way too much CGI and get a little corny (CGI zombie tigers?) but I decided to stick it out because as most know I watch any zombie flick that crosses my desk.



It seems someone tricked Ving Rhymes into doing another less than mediocre zombie film and this time he is billed even further down and has less involvement scene to scene. For those who do not remember he did that great remake of Dawn of the Dead and then followed it up by taking part in that complete mess of a remake Day of the Dead. We also see Taryn Manning who has been in a number of decent tv shows and movies like 8 Mile and Hawaii Five O. As for any other memorable cast members, I could not tell you because either they were pointless or I had already been on my third can of Four Loko at this point and we all know that makes things a little hazy.

Um so.... yeah, lets talk about those special effects. There is a place and time for CGI. Horror movies have gotten way too dependent on it because it is so much easier on the budget and we get that. Make-up is what makes zombies look great and numerous other horror staples like creatures, killers, torture etc. When you use CGI too much, and incorrectly I might add, you really piss of that 25 person core audience you already had. At times I had to wonder if this movie's effects were done by a high school group on a computer. I mean we had mistakes like the CGI bullets firing from guns. I do not believe a single person bothered to actually have knowledge on what a gun does or looks like when firing. Explosions were off timing and what about the zombie tiger. And as for the make-up, well when you have a zombie fighting you really need to make sure you have all that rubber and what not adhered before the shot. I noticed a time or two when you could clearly tell the make up was not right. I will also attribute this to the blind high school kids that helped the other high school SFX group.



So, what have we learned today? I hate CGI and Ving Rhymes needs to pick better movies or at least demand a bigger role. Until SyFy goes back to the correct spelling of the channel name all of their movies will suck? Anyone can write a zombie flick and SyFy will green light it all while supplying the kids needed to do your make=up and effects? It is safe to say that all of the above has come out of this review and stands as complete truth until someone tells me differently.



Pros.
It's about zombies.
Ving Rhymes

Cons.
CGI.
Story blah.
No character development.
SyFy is a horrible way to spell the channel name.

1/5

review - American Horror Story

Reviewers will often play follow the leader when a particular show or film is being chastised. I have seen a flurry of early negative reviews for a film quickly become a lynch mob as reviewers (most of whom have never directed a film themselves, including me) rally behind an effort to bury a movie because hey, its the kid on the playground that everyone else is picking on, so why not? I have seen a slew of bad early buzz for FXs American Horror Story. So much in fact that I was going to watch the pilot for review purposes, but not because I had a genuine interest. Had I not been a reviewer, I might have let this one fly completely under my radar. Although the pilot is far from perfect, it is nowhere near deserving the stoning that it has been receiving from the media.

Being an unapologetic horror enthusiast myself, I often see what the subculture of horror fans do that more than often cuts their own noses off to spite their faces. We all want more horror on television. We clamor for it. We beg the powers that be to give more consideration to the darkest of the genres and give us more horror television. However, once we are given a small sample, we critique it relentlessly, stop watching it, and then balk at its demise, citing a nation that doesn't embrace horror as the culprit behind its untimely cancellation. I know this because I smell my own. I am guilty as charged. THis being said, there are elements of American Horror Story that work, and work well enough to be explored further.

The story can be accused of being formulaic, AND, it wouldn't be that far from the mark. It, typically, follows an adulterous husband (Dylan McDermott) and his scorned wife as they try to make a fresh start in a new home after the loss of their stillborn child. Along with their rebellious teen daughter, the couple soon realize that their home, and the surrounding neighborhood is rife with secrets and its own brand of darkness. As I said, these are not novel ideas, BUT the inclusion of a whole lotta weirdness brings just the right amount of mystery in the familiar to keep you guessing. THIS, if the series continues at its current pace, is what will keep viewers interested, and interestingly it is the subplots that kept the pilot moving.

In addition to a house that allegedly has a mind of its own, we have a demonic shapeshifting baby monster, a maid whose age and very existence is questionable, a nosy neighbor (Jessica Lange) with secrets, and a wealth of answers to the questions at the core of the horrific events unfolding and a bevy of deviant sexual behavior, that some I'm sure will find VERY excessive. The series' handling of its more adult themes will, I feel, be one of its major gripes among its audience. At times, it does feel to go out of its way to let you know that its pushing the boundaries of basic cable, but these themes are relative to the development of the characters and their personal journeys... plus... the occasional redheaded trollop in a french maid outfit is nothing for this reviewer to scoff at.

American Horror Story is a nice alternative to the onslaught of reality television and medical dramas that dominate basic cable programming. A note to my fellow horror enthusiasts: supporting a show like An American Horror Story may very well open the door for other horror series, maybe even one that pleases the critical palette as well. Recommended.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

True Blood - Episode 403

"I know I'm a vampire, Snookie." A little witch-tarded Eric goes a long way in this, the third episode of the new season. Following what I think has been a lackluster season opener, this episode keeps the levity strong and, although it might be one of the more quotable episodes, leaves us with a little too many laughs. After finding the horrible truth behind her fairy heritage, Sookie has returned to Bon Temps a year after her disappearance to find that many of her friends, and even a few of her adversaries, have taken on different roles, and indeed, different lives. Bill, now the King of Louisiana is in full douche mode in this episode and the romance and theme of eternal love that many found endearing about the show is totally gone. In fact, this season seems to be lifted right from a jilted lover's diary as everyone that once was fighting for love is now ready to hate-hump anyone that comes into their path. Don't get me wrong... I LOVES the fang-banging!!!.. BUT... it is the characterizations of the shows main protagonists that sold True Blood to me in the first place.

SOO the rundown? In this episode, aptly titled "If you Love Me, Why Am I Dyin?" Coven-fisted Eric stumbles around with half a memory as Sookie tries to piece together what happened. Bill unsurprisingly does some more staking of his own (see what I did there?.. oh yeah), now with one of his business partners. Pam threatens to kill EVERYONE. Lafayette is still gay and leads a one man suicide mission to talk to Pam (well in his defense he was trying to reach Eric... who we know is worlds more forgiving) about what happened to Eric (see last comment about her killing EVERYONE). Tara pulls out a gun and that bar wench who did all the screaming the last few seasons?.. yeah, she belts another siren outta her mouth when the shit goes down.. all the while Jessica is glamoring Hoyt into forgetting that she is a slut. Sam is still getting shot down by everyone not in the mood for a psychotic grudge fuck and slaps that pudgy little Andy Belfour right across the cocsucker in the Merlott's parking lot. Darlene's kid is still trying to decapitate toys to slake his bloodlust. Did I mention manwhore Bill the King is still being a douche?

Although the action might have picked up a little, and a few questions are being answered from previous seasons, True Blood might be on a collision course to the land of shark jumping if we don't get back on track soon.

Review- Supernatural (Season 6)

Do you like horror? Do you like blood? Do you like sarcasm? Do you like demon hunters? Then Supernatural is the show for you. The writing and producing of Ben Edlund of The Tick fame really shines in this....well..supernatural series.

If you have never seen an episode your in luck cause they are all on DVD and are all great. But in all honesty if your reading this then I bet you have. ...So I'm gonna just go ahead and skip to this season and give my overview.

The season starts where the last left off...funny how that works right? Dean is happy, Sam is somehow back and soulless, Bobby is drunk (also soulless) and Cas is fighting for the throne of heaven..no biggie. This season had alot of promise and i do believe it met most of it. Buuuut and its sorta a big one..like Sir Mixalot liked. As i was saying buuut with Sam being soulless it doesnt flow quite the same. It just feels a bit off. Dont get me wrong it is kinda fun at times to see Sammy being a bad ass and getting laid quite a bit but just not the same.

Now the season doesn't fall flat because of this just some episodes. In fact Bobby may be funnier than ever and the Faerie episode may top Yellow Fever as the funniest ever.
There is alot to digest in this season and they do a descent job packing it in, though it does seem rushed at times near the end.

In the end I was pleasantly pleased with this latest season and look forward to the new season next year to see where they go after the fairly awesome cliff hanger ending. I will do my best over the next few months to do an episode by episode review/critique of this last season for your reading pleasure. If you haven't yet watched this season it is in re runs and it is highly recommended.

originally posted by contributor David Winterborne