Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Review - Rubber

Since it's out of competition debut at the 2010 Cannes Festival, Quinten Dupieux's RUBBER has been piquing interests across the horror community. Labeled as "The Killer Tire" movie, Dupieux attempts to outsmart its audience with the tale of Robert, a tire left in the California desert that suddenly finds itself afflicted with a bad case of Life.

Confused about its new environment, Robert sets out to discover the world around, using its powers of psychokenesis to blow anything up that crosses its path. It starts small with tin cans and glass bottles, moving upwards to bunnies, scorpions and then human prey.

The movie starts out with a piece by a cop, stepping out of his car and delivering a monologue on the use of "No Reason" in Hollywood, evoking such choices as why is ET brown. He then orders his partner to hand out binoculars to a crowd that will be watching the events with us, breaking for the first time out of man, the fourth wall. This crowd turns into the often used Greek Chorus, commenting periodically on the events of the film.

The term "Killer Tire Movie" brings to mind the schlocky B-Movie turned Art House fare that we get from Robert Rodriguez or a younger Sam Raimi, however this film eschews the madcap action of the prior movies and delivers something that tries to go somewhere else, but seems to forget its destination. When we meet Robert as he wakes up, it’s fascinating to watch the tire explore its surroundings as something that has never before seen some common place items as a tin can or scorpion and its explosive reactions to these things, the quickly devolves into some kind of weird obsession piece as the tire begins to stalk a woman staying at the nearby drive-by motel. The movie sticks to its No Reason beliefs by stringing together a series of scenes that occur for no good reason.

As the film progresses, the kills become increasingly awkward, all head explosions. We even get a mass poisoning for, again, no reason as the cop from the beginning tricks the now seemingly held hostage binocular group into eating a bad turkey that happened to be in the desert, again, for no reason.

Rubber is as confusing as it is weirdly entertaining and will surely go down as one of those movies that are spread by weird word of mouth.

This is one of those movies that become legend not for its content but its subject matter like Snakes on a Plane or the more recent Human Centipede. It’s hard to recommend this movie to the common viewer, who will most likely find themselves confused as to what is going on, but for the more hardcore they may find a weird little art house piece that entertains on simply its “what the fuck” factor. This is a movie that would be best suited to midnight matinee viewings with a raucous audience shouting at the screen a’la Rocky Horror Picture Show.

After all is said and done, Rubber is a niche piece that will carve its name in the weird, experimental films that will garner much attention simply because of what the movie is about, but you know what, that in itself is just as fun, knowing that you are one of the few that will likely see this movie, and turn itself into an interesting conversation piece between movie fans.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Friday the 13th Double Feature


Stay up late with Jason Voorhees, if you dare, for a rare 35mm double-feature of Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) on Friday, January 13, 2012 at the historic Vista Theater in Los Angeles.

The evening will be hosted by La-La Land Records, Creature Features and ShockTillYouDrop.com, in celebration of the premiere soundtrack release of Friday the 13th Parts I-VI, A Limited Edition 6-CD Box Set, featuring composer Harry Manfredini’s acclaimed, never-before-officially-released Friday the 13th scores.

Between the films, a Q&A panel will be hosted by ShockTillYouDrop.com managing editor Ryan Turek. Special guests will include Friday the 13th and Friday the 13th Part 2’s Adrienne King, composer Harry Manfredini, and Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives actors Thom Mathews, David Kagen, Darcy DeMoss, Vinnie Guastaferro and Nancy McLoughlin. More guests to be announced!

The event will serve as the release party for the Friday the 13th Parts I-VI box set, available in a limited edition of 1300 units. The box set includes 6 CDs and a 40-page book, and will be available for $70. (CASH ONLY, sales tax included). The box set will also be sold at www.lalalandrecords.com starting Jan. 13, 2012.

Special event-only merchandise, created exclusively for this screening, will also be on hand!

WHERE: The Vista Theater, 4473 Sunset Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90027
WHEN: Friday, January 13, 2012 @ 9:30pm
TICKETS: $15 EACH - AVAILABLE NOW AT CreatureFeatures.com/f13

article originally posted on www.creaturefeatures.com

Review - Panic Button (2011)

Panic button is a great representation of how a small movie with an even smaller cast can come across as a film with a much bigger scope than its means. It also represents a very real threat to us here in the digital age and that means a very real, palpable horror as well.
Panic button centers on four characters, each from different walks of life, who find themselves the winners of a social network site's contest that puts them on a private jet headed straight to the big apple for an all expense paid vacation of fun in the US. Right away, our all British cast almost gurantees a well rounded crew of capable actors (Not to digress here, but how many British productions do you see that have less than adequate acting chops among their central thespians? Scones and acting... those Brits bring their A-game). After brief introductions in the airport, our winners board their ride and are almost immediately treated to a game of " who's the biggest scumbag" MC'd by an on-board computer representing All2Gethr, the social network site that is soon to become the film's antagonist. It is here that the real horror of Panic Button shows its pearly whites. Horror is more than the killer in the closet, the monster under the bed or the maniac with a master plan to prove his demented philosophies to his victims. Horror is around us, laying in wait, packaged as a nice slick service that connects us to our friends all the while nearing closer to our jugular with a serrated blade.

Panic Button might leave a lot of horror fans thinking that the film is a little message heavy, but its point is poignant and topical enough that it doesn't feel forced. It reminds us that we are too quick to give up our freedoms and our privacies in a virtual word that is just as risky as the corporeal one. Our characters find this out quickly as their private lives and their misadventures are forced into view in front of them and their peers as the sadistic game unfolds. We soon learn that each character has their own secrets and as each are seperated from the group, they are given ultimatums from their host that could mean a grisly end for their friends and loved ones should they not meet its demands. 

I am a sucker for character studies, movies that move along by reaching into the past and allowing us to follow the backstories of its characters. Panic Buton is adept in doing this, withut using the conventinal means of flashbacks and grainy black and white footage. It manages to do so inface while propelling the present timeline forward and in doing so pushes it running time forward at a break-neck speed. If PB has any fault it is that it is almost too successful in exploring the depravity of its characters, leaving us looking for a hero, but luckily still engaged enough to let it slip by. These are characters that even when we are appaled by them, we realize that it s the human condition that it is their afliction and we must concede to our own introspection, allowing us to forgive them just enough to wish for their redemption. 

I could not help but to be reminded of the first Saw as I watched Panic Button. It has a tone and intent that mirrors the franchise starter and leads me to believe that this was only the first button to be pushed and that with a solid DTV audience, we can hope to see a little more panic in the future. 


Panic Button is available on DVD and Bluray. Check your local retail store for pricing and availability. 

Review - The Woman

Directed by Lucky Mckee and written by Mr. Mckee and Jack Ketchum, The Woman is a strangely odd tale about a man who finds a feral woman and decides to domesticate her....you know that old story. There is nothing usual about this story from beginning to twist filled end though, but,
lets start at the beginning.

The husband of a seemingly normal family finds a dirty wild woman out in the woods while he is out hunting. So, being a normal red blooded american male he captures her and takes her home to his family...like most normal people.

Once he gets her home and adequately tied up he attempts to clean her..not something that normally merits screen time but to be fair bathing usually doesn't lose you a finger, now does it? The hero, if you can call him that, then dispenses punishment for the action to "train" her not to bite. Ok..right here, right now im gonna say its hard to review this film and not give the good parts away. The problem being that the film relies heavily on "really?...did that just happen" moments..but in light of informing my audience, I will try.

Once the Patriarch of our normal little family thinks he has the wild woman docile enough he shows his family what he has found. They, being normal people and all, also think this is just peachy.

This is the point in the movie i started to grasp the real concept behind it. This film is horror alright but more of psychological than physical. You watch a family accept more and more from a man who gives less and less. It does become hard at times to sit and watch this husband/father be an ever increasing monster. To not give too much away you will realize by the end that Jason and Freddy are a lot less scary than a sociopath that you have to call dad.

That is what this movie does well. It forces you to watch a deconstruction of a family by a monster of a man. The Woman the movie is named for is actually only the catalyst to show what he can become and what he already is. In fact, they could have used any kinda woman or person in her spot. To be completely honest this may be my biggest gripe about the film. It just seems this film could have been just as effective with him doing the same things to a hooker or school teacher..maybe even more impactful in my opinion. Oh and also if your looking for tons of blood your not gonna get it but you will get well placed blood and guts... Just saying.

That being said this film makes you feel for the characters. It is downright uncomfortable at points with the extreme actions of the males in the film. The gore is well placed and not over used. The end of this film is very twisted and begs alot of questions and i like that since this film leaves most of the characters scarred and completely broken. McKee did a good job of moving the viewer through this maze while keeping them interested and slightly uneasy.

This is not a perfect film or story, but it does make you feel dirty and ashamed and you fear for the characters... and isn't that what a good torture film is supposed to do? There may be films that do it better but honestly the psychological aspect may be done better in this film than most of this genre. In the end The Woman is one girl you should not underestimate.



originally posted by contributor David Winterborne

Review - Memory Lane

There are movies that transcend their intended purpose to entertain and either by accident or purpose become something else. As creators, we are on the precipice of a new age of entertainment. The internet has almost single handedly obliterated the brick and mortar video rental business and put major hollywood studios back into the think-tank, questioning the delivery and channels of delivery for major motion pictures. Up until the last few years, filmmaking has still been largely a youtube experience for no-budget productions. Amateur filmmaking was still relegated to the obscure ranks of glutted upload-it-yourself video sites. Shawn Holme's Memory Lane heralds a shift in amateur filmmaking. Made for only $300.00, Memory Lane is better than most genre films in the indie category, and although stylish never makes the jump to art-house pomposity.

Memory Lane follows Nick (Michael Guy Allen), a war veteran who returns to his hometown to pick up the pieces of his life after enduring the traumas of battle. While jogging he encounters Kayla (Meg Barrick), a distraught young woman attempting to commit suicide and the two begin a whirlwind romance that tragically ends in Nick finding Kayla dead in their new home. Overcome with grief, Nick survives his own suicide attempt only to find that his methods actually allowed him to relive his memories with Kayla in the space between life and death. Nick decides to repeat the conditions in the hopes of learning more about Kayla's demise, killing himself and being reanimated increasingly more frequent until answers are found.

There are shades of other films here (Butterfly Effect, Flatliners and others) but Memory Lane holds its own distinct voice. With beautiful cinematography and a memorable performance from lead Michael Guy Allen, ML feels more like a bigger budget picture trying to disguise its price tag in the hopes to connect more on an intimate level with its audience than the reality of its almost non-existent budget. In this it represents something extraordinary: a benchmark. Memory Lane represents a true shift in the accessibility of film. It marks a film that can be made on a blue collar paycheck and still have the zeal and appeal of a film that can manage to reach a wide, mainstream audience.



Memory Lane is currently available for streaming on the film's website, www.553am.com

Review - High School of the Dead

In my experiences with Anime either you love it or skip it like a Justin Beiber video. For most anime I have leaned toward the later because I have had a hard time relating or just plain keeping up with any of it. Subject matter is the other thing that is a deciding factor for me. Luckily in the case of HOTD they hold the things that matter most to my inner 16 year old boy: zombies, jiggling insanely proportioned breasts, ultra F bomb profanity and a hell of a lot of gore.
The premise is simple as with 99% of zombie stories, movies, games etc, its all about survival. A group is formed at a high school as an outbreak occurs in Japan. This group is led by sophomore Takashi Komuro and stays loosely based around six others and a dog.
I would have to agree with most people that this material is suited for 18+ year olds but seriously I would have loved this series long before my adulthood given the chance to view it. Speaking of the viewing, I did watch it via Netflix in HD so there are no complaints with the stream. The art is beautiful as with most anime productions of this degree. The colors seemed vibrant and no corners were cut in animation.
Now if the jiggling breasts and the many panty shots did not make you blush, the dialog may. Right from the inset, yet again, it is obvious HOTD is intended for mature audiences or kids with naive parents. You will hear just about every cuss word under the sun and F bombs fly like jets over a war torn battlefield. The sound itself is very crisp and perfectly tuned to the on screen action. I also felt like relating to this anime versus the others I "Bieber'd" or skipped was a lot easier due to intelligent writing and dialog Too many times with anime I feel they are trying to westernize the characters to the point they seem stupid and sound horrible.
I am only a few episodes into season one and I am happy to say I will watch the rest. This show does many great things in the way of fan service, gore, animated breasts, profanity and just plain good ole fun. If you like any of the aforementioned things you will not be a miss to check this series out.
Has anyone seen this series or have one to recommend?
Notice any winks or nods in the way of fan service?
Please feel free to drop a comment or start a fire below.

originally posted by contributor Christopher Young

Review - Paranormal Activity 3


I swore up and down, left and right that I would not be taking part in the Halloween tradition this year. You may be asking what tradition I am referring to, so let me explain a little. It seems about every 3-5 years the torch is passed to the next franchise to milk the holiday bucks till the teat is dry. Before we had Paranormal Activity the franchise was Saw. You can see this all the way back to the original Halloween. Now with Paranormal Activity firmly locked in as the Halloween holiday series the cycle can repeat itself. In this case of our third entry into this series, I had the overwhelming feeling I had seen and done this before. Lets take a look into the monster that dominated the theaters this holiday.

**SPOILERS**
Keep an eye out here folks, I have been known to ruin a movie or two by dropping spoilers with no warning!So, we open with 2005 and a box of tapes is being dropped off by Katie at Kristi and her husband's home. Shortly thereafter a burglary takes place and the tapes go missing but nothing else is touched (DAH DUM!!!!!). We then roll back the clock to 1988 and both Katie and Kristi are children living with there mother Julie and her boyfriend, Dennis. We start to hear mention of Katie's invisible friend Toby and that's when strange things begin.

Following an earthquake and a botched sex tape attempt Dennis notices an image in the video he made. Dennis and his friend Randy decide to set cameras up in the house to try and figure out what is going on. From here is where we go into "creep you out land". As you would expect we are going to experience things moving/ breaking on their own, lights going on and off, shadows that make no sense and just general paranormal activity. I will not spoil the very lacking amount of unusual things that happen in the movie. It is safe to say you will not see anything more intense or scary than you had in the last two movies. Yes, more of the same but that is a lot better than more of something worse. The cast all did the part they were asked to. Chloe Csengery who played the young Katie stood out a lot more than the other characters when it came to seeming believable. I know the story is really based around her and this entity named Toby but she did a great job selling her part. The only other person that I felt displayed a real person filled with dread and emotion would have been Dustin Ingram who played Randy. The one scene was in the bathroom as they attempt to play "Bloody Mary". The fear coming from his cracking voice as he tried to calm Kristi sure felt real. This was probably my favorite scene to be honest.The sound has been a very important part of this entire franchise. As we know it is not what you see in these movies that gets you. It is what you miss in a scene and the audio that accompanies it. For us the audio seemed lacking but I believe that to be the theater we were at. It was like someone had things turned down which wrecks any chance of an actual scare. It also did not help that the gentleman behind us felt the need to talk about child support, all the pot he smoked on the way and how much his current girlfriend sucked. All and all I would have to say the audio was as good as the last two outings in the series. I would also like to point out a change in the production team that I think helped this one rise about the last entry in the series. This time direction was helmed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman. Personally I liked their last documentary Catfish enough to give this a look regardless of having swore the series off after Paranormal Activity 2.

If you enjoyed the last 2 movies or love "found footage" movies, this one is worth checking out. Please do not go into it expecting a reinvention of the wheel or anything much different than the last two. I think they know what works and how much it takes to get a scare out of an audience. At times I even felt cheated when things built up only to fall flat as a dumb joke. The "Bloody Mary" scene and the last 10 minutes were probably the best parts of the movie. I had hoped to see this one go deeper into the lore and mysticism that makes up these entities and spirits. I hope they are not bottle necking info on the background in order to milk a few more flicks. If that's the case you guys are already riding on a threadbare saddle and deserve to crash.

originally posted by contributor Christopher Young

The Walking Dead - Episode 202

Well, Walking Dead wasn't quite as exciting zombie-wise this week but that doesn't mean it wasn't as nail biting...
**SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW**
Rick's boy was clinging to life and undergoing gruelingly painful surgery, the little girl's still missing, Shane runs off to save the day with a man he just met and all the while Darryl is still loosing blood and probably dying of infection. WOW. All in one episode. I have found at times that this show is so dense that it takes a second viewing to soak it all in. The characters are really rounding into very meaty, deep characters and that is exciting to me in its own right. The third episode of the season seems to be building to be a zombie throw-down at Shane's expense, soooo... it should be exciting. Episode 2 of the season is a definitive watch.

Walking Dead Season 2 - Season Opener


I was going into this season of Walking Dead with more than a little trepidation. I mean AMC has not had the best track record in the last few months for cooperation with their money making series like Mad Men and our own Walking Dead, of course. Darabont is still at the helm for now but with the rotating lineup of writers I was afraid that the season would be weak. I am pleased to "say so far so good". Episode 1 had just about every kind of drama that a zombie fan could ask for.
**warning may contain spoilers**
This episode starts off with Rick basically doing a recap on his trusty walkie-talkie for his friend that he left in his home town at the beginning of season one. This my friends is the last non-tense moment of the episode. Shortly into the episode the convoy runs into a huge traffic jam/ graveyard. Now this is a point of contention for me as to why there are dead bodies in the cars. Shouldn't they all be walkers if they were killed by walkers AND if they weren't killed by walkers, "why are they dead in their cars?" This by far isn't enough for me to dislike this episode...  im just a bit anal about these things. That being said, the band of survivors takes an opportunity to resupply from the stranded cars and fix the RV.
The tension really starts to become palpable when a herd of walkers heads their way. The survivors hide under the cars and watch the feet of the walkers go by. At least for me this created an overbearing feeling of needing to hold my breath for them. That is what this series does so well: it creates a feeling that you want these men and women to survive. I've never felt fear for a character when they weren't being attacked but I felt it for these poor lost souls as they have to lay silently waiting for the dead to pass.
Just as they think it was over one of the group, a child, is spotted and chased into the woods. Rick pursues and in the end the child comes up missing. They then decide to take a group in to find her and become increasingly split over whether or not to keep looking especially at night when it will be hard to spot walkers. This is where the show and story always had to go, where the needs of the few can no longer outweigh the needs of the group.
Just as you think all is quiet and there is nothing else that can shock you about this premier... well.. you're wrong and its a "wow they really don't care who they kill do they?" moment. In my opinion it is a great moment because in this world everyone is susceptible to pitfalls and sudden violent death.
All in all its a must-watch for sure. It was 90 minutes and I've watched it twice already. If you loved The Walking Dead before then be happy cause it hasn't missed a beat. Oh and if you have never seen it...well firstly, why not? Secondly, are you really a horror fan? third..well I dunno, just watch the damn thing..geesh.

David Winterborne

Review - Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)


Sigh. I admittedly enjoyed the first Human Centipede. It had a mad scientist sorta vibe to it that broke the mold of modern "torture porn" horror films. That being said, I was still not a fan or advocate of the film. It was just a movie that despite its infamy, I still found to be a decent watch. When a proposed sequel was announced director Tom Six was VERY vocal about his intent to outdo the original. Now by "outdo" what Six was actually trying to say was, of course, "out-gross". "Why not?", I said. in a world where I had to watch good ole George Dubya address the masses for a solid 8 years, I had no problem with a second helping of cinematic ass-to-mouth. My next question of course was, "will he succeed?" The answer would be yes. Unfortunately, twenty minutes into the picture you fail to give any kind of shit (whether its explosive diarrhea or just the generic garden variety bm) about the depravity you have been guaranteed by our good friend Six to witness by the film's conclusion.

To say that Human Centipede 2 is a slow burn is to compare a flash fire to the waning life of a dying sun... the movie moves along at such a snail's pace that it reinforces what we already know: this is about stapling someone's mouth to the person's ass in front of them and waiting for the inevitable... that's it... that's why we're watching this. It's a train careening towards Browntown and its set to assplode!!! This train, for purposes unbeknownst to us, limps along like a leper at a 5K. Six, for whatever reason, has also decided to put an arthouse spin on the production (black and white? really? because we need to see the sharp contrast of ass vs. mouth? This isn't heart of darkness, Mr. Six. this could have been in color) but instead of it appearing more intimate and thus more disturbing, it just comes off as trite and unnecessary...AND... almost impossibly... MORE boring.

**SPOILERS**

Strangely, the only thing that offsets the film's sluggish pace through the first 3/4 of its running time is the utter stupidity that moves it forward. We follow not a mad (but once brilliant) doctor, but a mentally handicapped dwarf, Martin. Martin has absolutely no semblance of an ordinary life. Manning the security booth at a parking garage, Martin spends his shift obsessively watching the first Human Centipede...(uh... waddasayboutdat?... yeah... this movie manages to try and come across as its own little piece of metafiction... that's mighty white of it, dontcha think?) and fantasizing about doing his own little experiment involving TWELVE people...in.. yeah... another centipede. SO, Martin sets out to assemble his victims by knocking them over the head with a tire iron... yes, you heard me right... that's the crux of Martin's master plan.. a tire iron. With his menacing and intimidating frame, 4'9 with the physique of Paul Giamatti, Martin ACTUALLY FUCKING PULLS IT OFF.

In the meantime, between overpowering people who all allegedly have the physical prowess of Stephen Hawking on muscle relaxers, Martin is attempting to bring the stars of the original film into his devious web in order to include them in his experiment. IMPOSSIBLE, RIGHT?!?!? I mean, Martin, for all we know isn't even capable of human speech... oh, but apparently he has mad negotiating skills cuz guess what? He ACTUALLY FUCKING PULLS IT OFF. Yes, Martin actually manages to lure one of the film's original stars to LONDON..OVERSEAS... to "audition" for a film, thus allowing her easy capture. HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT. Speaking of shit, remember our tribute to the noir films of yore? Our entire film is in black and white... with the exception of shit... presented in full glorious techni-brown. Yes, when Martin's depraved plan is finally exacted, we are treated to a spray of vibrant.... brown. Which... is the exact taste Human Centipede 2 leaves in your mouth. NOT RECOMMENDED.



Human Centipede 2 is currently available in select theaters and VOD from IFC films. Contact your local cable company for on demand information and availability.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

review - American Horror Story


Reviewers will often play follow the leader when a particular show or film is being chastised. I have seen a flurry of early negative reviews for a film quickly become a lynch mob as reviewers (most of whom have never directed a film themselves, including me) rally behind an effort to bury a movie because hey, its the kid on the playground that everyone else is picking on, so why not? I have seen a slew of bad early buzz for FXs American Horror Story. So much in fact that I was going to watch the pilot for review purposes, but not because I had a genuine interest. Had I not been a reviewer, I might have let this one fly completely under my radar. Although the pilot is far from perfect, it is nowhere near deserving the stoning that it has been receiving from the media.

Being an unapologetic horror enthusiast myself, I often see what the subculture of horror fans do that more than often cuts their own noses off to spite their faces. We all want more horror on television. We clamor for it. We beg the powers that be to give more consideration to the darkest of the genres and give us more horror television. However, once we are given a small sample, we critique it relentlessly, stop watching it, and then balk at its demise, citing a nation that doesn't embrace horror as the culprit behind its untimely cancellation. I know this because I smell my own. I am guilty as charged. THis being said, there are elements of American Horror Story that work, and work well enough to be explored further.

The story can be accused of being formulaic, AND, it wouldn't be that far from the mark. It, typically, follows an adulterous husband (Dylan McDermott) and his scorned wife as they try to make a fresh start in a new home after the loss of their stillborn child. Along with their rebellious teen daughter, the couple soon realize that their home, and the surrounding neighborhood is rife with secrets and its own brand of darkness. As I said, these are not novel ideas, BUT the inclusion of a whole lotta weirdness brings just the right amount of mystery in the familiar to keep you guessing. THIS, if the series continues at its current pace, is what will keep viewers interested, and interestingly it is the subplots that kept the pilot moving.

In addition to a house that allegedly has a mind of its own, we have a demonic shapeshifting baby monster, a maid whose age and very existence is questionable, a nosy neighbor (Jessica Lange) with secrets, and a wealth of answers to the questions at the core of the horrific events unfolding and a bevy of deviant sexual behavior, that some I'm sure will find VERY excessive. The series' handling of its more adult themes will, I feel, be one of its major gripes among its audience. At times, it does feel to go out of its way to let you know that its pushing the boundaries of basic cable, but these themes are relative to the development of the characters and their personal journeys... plus... the occasional redheaded trollop in a french maid outfit is nothing for this reviewer to scoff at.

American Horror Story is a nice alternative to the onslaught of reality television and medical dramas that dominate basic cable programming. A note to my fellow horror enthusiasts: supporting a show like An American Horror Story may very well open the door for other horror series, maybe even one that pleases the critical palette as well. Recommended.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Review - Fright Night (2011)


I am admittedly not the biggest advocate of remakes, even though there have been many that I have enjoyed. I have always felt that there are still untapped reservoirs of creativity in Hollywood, and that the idea of the remake is a fast track to so many of those reservoirs never seeing the light of day. So when I hear about yet another remake it means one more new idea that the movie going public will never see. In the case of Fright Night, my trepidation was also due to the fact that the original was a personal favorite and one that made a huge impression on me as a young horror movie fanatic.

The original 1985 film was an extremely accessible film, especially to a preteen who loved the genre. It had a blend of horror and humor that made it quotable and rewatchable. Rewatchable to the point where my late night HBO viewings of the film probably near reached the triple digits. As much as it did resonate with my preteen sensibilities, there was an adult sophistication that hinted at themes that I could only try to understand. Themes that probably also added to those late night viewing tallies.

The original cast was an inspired choice and the chemistry on screen was evidence. Sarandon used his sex appeal as a weapon and made a formidable villain, using the naivety of William Ragadale's Charlie Brewster against him, separating him even further from his passage to adulthood. With the addition of veteran thespian Roddy McDowell, the film paid homage to its predecessors while still managing to do something that a lot of fanged flicks regretfully forget to do... it was a SHIT TON of fun. It was a vampire flick that didn't wallow in an unnecessary sense of self importance... it had a good time while finding the comedy in its subject matter without disrespecting it OR its audience. in fact, despite a few of the soundtrack choices, the film holds up surprisingly well. So well, that the idea of a remake didn't strike me as a warranted one. It was with this mindset that I went to see the remake.

What Fright Night the 2011 remake does exceptionally well is keep the fun coming alongside the scares and action. It does it so well that there are times you almost forget that you are watching a remake at all. THIS is where Fright Night succeeds... honoring the original while giving new audiences what so many remakes and even big summer blockbusters fail to do... a good time.

The remake follows the template of the original and fans of the 1985 film while find all the familiar territory that made the original so memorable. Charlie Brewster (Anton Yelchin) is a high school student struggling with coming of age and the pressures of his first real "adult" relationship. His single mother is focused on what most single mother are and finds herself replacing he idea of a spouse with her job. When the next door neighbor moves in and proves to be the quintessential hunk that suburban wives and girlfriends tend to fawn over and make the object of their masturbatory fantasies, Charlie feels the pressures of being an adult while still being looked at as a kid. The neighbor, Jerry (Colin Farrel), proves to be more of a predator than just the sexual variety after a string of murders close to home arouses the suspicions of both Charlie and his estranged friend, Ed (yes, McLovin). Soon though the idea of Jerry being a garden variety killer is dismissed and Charlie realizes he is up against a true creature of the night... one that is cunning, ruthless, and the embodiment of masculinity...something that represents Charlie's inadequacies.

As I said, the template is here. This IS Fright Night, and despite other reviews I have read, the changes to Charlie and Ed actually make a lot of sense. The 2011 Fright Night sees Charlie as a young man trying to separate himself from the friends of his past; friends whose interests in Dungeons and Dragons and youthful roleplaying might prove detrimental to Charlie's new found popularity. This is embodied in Charlie's near supernaturally HOT girlfriend. Another factor that, while Charlie is grateful, makes him uneasy, having to defend the validity of their relationship and his own worthiness to possess her affections. Granted, this is the kind of girl that more often than not would probably be having a secret romance with the flirty English Lit professor right out of college than a boy of Charlie's ranks, WHICH... actually makes the struggle not only believable but a HUGE selling point of Charlie's uneasiness when it comes to Farell's sex appeal.

The remake gets so much right that its hard not to wish that you didn't have to compare it to its predecessor at all. When you do, however, you find that the two movies own distinct voices actually compliment one another, and this is captured wholly and completely in David Tenant's Peter Vincent, a character that many were hesitant to see reprised at all. Despite my unwavering interest in all things horror, I am an avid Doctor Who fan. I think the best thing the BBC has done in years is resurrect the series and David Tenant finally gave us a doctor to rival Tom Baker's celebrated portrayal. That being said, Tenant reinvents the character without shaming the original performance (brilliantly played by Roddy McDowell) and gives us some of the better laughs of the picture.

What Fright Night should be congratulated on is giving us a fun summer movie that pays homage to the original without pissing on it. Recommended.



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Review - Grave Encounters


The "found footage" approach to horror filmmaking, for better or for worse, has created a new subcategory in the horror genre. We've seen witches, ghosts, exorcisms and more. So why does Grave Encounters work then? I asked myself that question multiple times during The Vicious Brother's found footage foray. I feel as though opinions on this are going to be largely divided, so I would like to preface this review with a little bit of information that might help support my thoughts.

I hosted a live paranormal radio show for three years. In that industry it's not unusual to see huge conflicts between the truth and entertainment. The paranormal reality show has proven to be an enormous money maker and has often been more detrimental to proving the existence of it's concepts than many fans would like to think. TV is TV. It is entertainment and often it is experience that shapes our faith...not an 8 o clock slot on the Travel Channel. HOWEVER, it is this entertainment that often prompts us to question out beliefs and expand our horizons. The message here? Don't shoot the messenger...even when it's a pompous melodramatic douchebag that preys on people's faith with cheap parlor tricks. ok...so maybe it's ok to shoot the messenger, but it doesn't excuse any of us from drawing our own conclusions about the things that go bump in the night.

Lance Preston (Sean Rogerson) is just the kind of douchebag that causes the true believer to roll their eyes. Shooting their sixth episode for their series Grave Encounters, Lance and his team of paranormal adventurers take on an abandoned insane asylum with a history of haunted happenings. It's easy to see early on just where this is going. The set up practically demands it and we are treated to some nice bits of humor early on as we see what some of us already know: entertainment does not wait on the unexplained to happen...sometimes it has to be "encouraged". This also allows us to explore the motives of our lead characters as we learn that they too understand the importance of providing their viewers with entertainment, no matter the cost... Even when the cost is slipping some petty cash to the Gardner to improvise when approached to relate some of his own experiences.

Like any morale parable on the dangers of getting what you wish for, the Grave Encounters crew soon find out that their location has it's own idea of entertainment. In this sense The Vicious Brothers (somehow I feel extremely ridiculous for capitalizing this every time, but I also refer to myself in the third person, so... Yeah.... We all have our little delusions of grandeur) are not trying to reinvent the wheel. We've seen a lot of these scare trappings before... It is, however, the willingness of the directors to take the scares to the next level that kept my interest. Sure we get a lot of movement in the camera's periphery and a lot of noises off camera, but this is a staple of a lot of contemporary paranormal programming, so it seems to fit here a little more naturally. It is also an opportunity to set us up for what soon becomes a barrage of money shots... A series of visual reveals that successfully give us what a lot of it's peers only hint at in this sub genre. Make no mistake, we definitely get payoffs in Grave Encounters, and it sets itself far apart from so many of the other found footage flicks that it finds it's own voice and keeps you watching, regardless of now many tired conventions the film uses to set up the scares.

Grave Encounters has enough "jumps" to satisfy the casual movie watcher and a few "oh shit" moments" to keep the rest of us interested. Recommended.



You can watch the trailer for Grave Encounters here and embedded below.




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Location:N Gilbert St,Danville,United States

A Look Back - Wes Craven's The Serpent and the Rainbow


Based on the book by Wade Davis, this story has some of its roots in truth as Bill Pulmann's character "Dennis Alan" is very loosely based on Davis himself. He was an ethnobotanist who traveled third world countries to explore and research local "medicine".

I see this movie in the same way it expresses the ultimate goals and depth of its characters: the white, the gray and the black. Dennis and Lucienne represent the white. The gray is presented in shades by Christophe and Louis. The Black, and to quote another movie "how much more black can this be? and the answer is none, none more black!", is represented by Dargent.

To watch this movie and not at some point feel the chills it goes for is almost impossible. Voodoo is real and is practiced today much as it is shown in this movie. The pageantry of the parades into the jungles, to locate the holy springs happens to this very day. The graves of the dead rise from the hills surrounding many of the populated areas. The slums where faith in something, even something like voodoo is all many possess.

It is in these locations that we meet Christophe, a zombie. he has been given "the powder" and returned from the dead. Conrad Roberts gives Christophe a real haunting feel, as we truly seem to see the eyes of the dead. He has lost control of his soul due to his unyielding belief in Voodoo. Louis Mozart played by Brent Jennings is the true medicine man, he has the secrets but parts with them only because his lighter gray side is honorable. Luciene Celine given an o.k. portrayal by Paul Winfield, seems to help only because of the means to an end of Dargent.

As Dargent, Zakes Mokaes turn as the voodoo priest/police chief is delightedly diabolical. His contorted expressions and graveled voice lend perfectly to the character. He continues to possess the souls of his creations in clay jars, so he can control them. His acting is so believable in this role you can see where he could. As he tourtures Dennis, you trust that this man would, could, and will do it for real.

It is in Dargent that we see the evil, the possesion and the physical violence brought onto the Hatian people by the ruthless and real Tonton Macoutes, secret police. Their name is taken from the creole hatian language and means Uncle Boogeyman. It gives a depth many don't realize to Dargent and his men. To view this and not see that the people fear the Tonton, more than just as police is to miss one of the main theme. The torture rooms and underground cells were a real fact of life in Haiti, under the rule of Papa Doc and Baby Doc Duvalier. Together they put to death an estimated 60,000 people.

The line "I want to hear you scream..." delivered by any other actor would not elicit the response in the audience that it does from Zakes. He revels in the character, and brings out an evil mans soul. He shows the dark voodoo magic, and vile underground that kept the hatian people in check for decades. He is not The Rainbow.

This movie is at times dark and brooding and at others scary and in your face. It has enough light hearted banter, and colorful scenery to push through a few slow areas. It is not a shock and awe terror flick, or a blood sprayed gore fest. It is a cerebral, fear inducing and at one point leg crossing, good old fashioned "monster" movie, and the zombie may not be the monster.

Guest Blog by XXLMedium

True Blood - Episode 403


"I know I'm a vampire, Snookie." A little witch-tarded Eric goes a long way in this, the third episode of the new season. Following what I think has been a lackluster season opener, this episode keeps the levity strong and, although it might be one of the more quotable episodes, leaves us with a little too many laughs. After finding the horrible truth behind her fairy heritage, Sookie has returned to Bon Temps a year after her disappearance to find that many of her friends, and even a few of her adversaries, have taken on different roles, and indeed, different lives. Bill, now the King of Louisiana is in full douche mode in this episode and the romance and theme of eternal love that many found endearing about the show is totally gone. In fact, this season seems to be lifted right from a jilted lover's diary as everyone that once was fighting for love is now ready to hate-hump anyone that comes into their path. Don't get me wrong... I LOVES the fang-banging!!!.. BUT... it is the characterizations of the shows main protagonists that sold True Blood to me in the first place.

SOO the rundown? In this episode, aptly titled "If you Love Me, Why Am I Dyin?" Coven-fisted Eric stumbles around with half a memory as Sookie tries to piece together what happened. Bill unsurprisingly does some more staking of his own (see what I did there?.. oh yeah), now with one of his business partners. Pam threatens to kill EVERYONE. Lafayette is still gay and leads a one man suicide mission to talk to Pam (well in his defense he was trying to reach Eric... who we know is worlds more forgiving) about what happened to Eric (see last comment about her killing EVERYONE). Tara pulls out a gun and that bar wench who did all the screaming the last few seasons?.. yeah, she belts another siren outta her mouth when the shit goes down.. all the while Jessica is glamoring Hoyt into forgetting that she is a slut. Sam is still getting shot down by everyone not in the mood for a psychotic grudge fuck and slaps that pudgy little Andy Belfour right across the cocsucker in the Merlott's parking lot. Darlene's kid is still trying to decapitate toys to slake his bloodlust. Did I mention manwhore Bill the King is still being a douche?

Although the action might have picked up a little, and a few questions are being answered from previous seasons, True Blood might be on a collision course to the land of shark jumping if we don't get back on track soon.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

review - The Bleeding House


The Bleeding House might easily fall prey to the big Hollywood remake machine. it's infuriating to think that it might... But it's easy to see some out of touch executive, still reeking from cigarette and prostitutes, finding the easiest way to circumvent the creative process and shuffling his evil little feet across the hall to postpone the devil from taking his bruised, blackened little soul for another fortnight... A quill pen gets dipped in arterial elixir and voila... Bradley Cooper gets cast in the overblown and unnecessary remake of The Bleeding House... AND... That is exactly how it happens... Unless the exec is a non smoker of course... Jus sayin.

Bleeding House works well being a small movie. It uses it's scale as a means to keep the tension intimate and real. Compromise that and it surrenders it's tone and impact...which is the real crux of the picture. The film is heavy with atmosphere and although it surrenders some of it's mysteries a little too early, the film's pace and a great cast never has you looking at the clock or questioning it's motives. It's House's casting thats the standout element that really brings it all together too. A small cast that benefits greatly from a vaguely familiar face... Patrick Breen.

Breen, a character actor with a multitude of tv and film credits, plays Nick, a mysterious visitor who shows up on the doorstep of the home of a troubled family. A family seemingly imprisoned by their own social alienation, they offer their house to the traveller for the night. Breen plays up the smug, yet charming Nick in the film's first act with a clever bravado that only intensifies over the course of the picture until he makes the movie his vehicle... And you'll have absolutely no issue with it either. This is the kid of performance that sees an actor of Breen's caliber suddenly offered a score of higher profile roles.

We follow the family and their visitor through a night of murder, torture and revelations that leaves you glad you weren't aware of any of the film's reveals before going in. I won't dare give away the film's turns because this is how a movie like The Bleeding House functions best. Suffice it to say...This one is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

The Bleeding House is currently available on Video on Demand. Check your local cable provider for pricing and availability.



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Review - Super 8




There are movies that speak to you. Movies that not only take you to new places, but allow you to revisit those from your past with a startling clarity and emotional connection. I am not saying that Super 8 is a horror movie. I'm not even saying that Super 8 is guaranteed to connect with horror fans. Super 8 is a movie made by a movie lover and it shows in every frame. Super 8 is a movie that deeply resonates with those of us who have been horror movie lovers since we were kids. Kids, in fact, are at the heart of Abram's film and it works to let you access those moments of innocence when horror sci-fi and monsters were so new that you loved every minute of everything you could consume. When you were a horror lover as a kid your appetite was voracious. Movies didn't fall on a sliding scale from suck to awesome, there were just varying degrees of KICKASSERY. Every kill, every creature, every moment of counselors getting stalked by a killer with preternatural powers infused itself into your psyche and shaped your outlook as a fan and creator... and there was only a handful of peers that felt your enthusiasm. It made for an often exciting and lonely childhood. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE can capture that period of adolescence if they themselves have not been there. Abrams, sells it, and he sells it in such a way that you watch it the way you first watched Close Encounters or Poltergeist. It is a film that is very much a lover letter to those that came before it and it is earnest, full of heart, and often times pitch perfect.

Super 8 follows a group of kids who, while trying to film their own super 8 horror film, witness a train crash carrying an airforce secret that gradually starts to change the face of heir small Ohio town. This secret is BIG and is driven by a singular, mysterious purpose. Our POV during the events is through the eyes of Joe, played by Joel Courtney. Joe is suffering through the recent loss of his mother, further alienating him from peers and his own grieving father (Kyle Chandler). We feel for Joe and it is his motley crue of fellow movie lovers that allow us to endear ourself to the core of the picture. The core, is actually a good, ole fashioned monster movie, one that hearkens back not only to the pictures that inspired it, but the fashion in which it is shot, which is decidedly its producer, Steven Spielberg. The kids, while trying to wrap their own film, get further involved in the mystery, culminating in an extremely satisfying and rewarding ending, which, might leave some of the audience divided. For, me it was in line with the tone of the picture and worked to further carry the message home.

Super 8, despite an exercise in competent screenwriting, is a great technical exercise and one that proves that frenetic "quick-cut" filmmaking that has undeservedly become a staple in a lot of modern films is not just overdone, but downright unnecessary when a creator like Abrams is at the helm. Lifelong horror film lovers will be pleasantly surprised and fans of the much younger variety might come away feeling a little more than inspired. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.


Review - Yellow Brick Road


If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then Yellow Brick Road is paved with potential... well the first few feet anyways. Yellow Brick Road suffers from using the "open ended", choose-your-own-adventure convention that at this point is just tired and unnecessary. Its almost as if the filmmakers haven't seen all the films that follow the same template as their own, because if they had, well... its like showin up for the big gala and "hellz no... do not tell me that bitch is wearin the same little black dress that I am!!!!"... embarrasing. That's how YBR plays out... its just hard to believe the filmmakers didn't give their audience enough credit to realize that we've seen this all before.. AND... its a pity because during the first few minutes... it actually feels pretty fresh... and admittedly, I had my hopes high.

YBR starts off by setting up a story concerning a town whose residents took off "walking" only to end up dead or their whereabouts unknown. A photographer and novelist (Michael Laurino), fascinated with the tale finally receives the info he has been waiting for to pursue the story along with his wife and best friend. He takes off, employing guides and interns to get to the bottom of the mystery. End the interesting part of this film. Enter a discombobulated and often times boring script that made me also want to to go for a walk... a long walk until I saw the credits.

I really hate to be this critical of YBR, but dammit, there was just so much potential here that I just can't excuse the execution. We had a mystery that was a tantalizing enough selling point, a well rounded cast, that, with a couple of exceptions, kept the acting above par... BUT... despite a rather brutal dismemberment sequence, this movie just felt trapped in stasis. Even when the story pushed forward the pace was so staggeringly slow that any pivotal events were too scarce to make you care. The horror here is VERY mild, and pretty non existent for the most part.

Is YBR a horrible film? No. Its actually, technically, an alright picture. If you're a film student and have some time on your hands... and possibly, some thorazine to reach the film's pace.. have at it Tyler (because for some reason I think that most film students are either named Tyler or Brendan these days... possibly Keiran) Kick off your Birkenstocks, sift through the seeds and stems of the ditch weed your Art History major fuck buddy girlfriend with the chinese ideogram on the nape of her neck left at your place after the Phish cover band concert and take some notes for your final. It just feels unrealized and underdeveloped. Unfortunately, that actually lumps it into a category that unfairly puts it beside far lesser films.

Review - The Ninth Gate



I have to give Johnny Depp credit for starring in the most wide variety of movies, and never shying away from a role that may turn out controversial. In this suspenseful and thrilling Roman Polanski film, Johnny Depp plays Dean Corso, a unscrupulous rare book dealer that is not against breaking a few ethics to get what he wants. He is contacted by Boris Balken played by Frank Langella to find out if his Book of the Nine Gates is the authentic one, out of the three still in existence. Once taking the job, he examines the other books and finds hidden secrets within all the books. Leading him on the trail to coming face to face with Lucifer himself.
The story itself is stepped in the basis of Lucifer having written a book that the book of Nine Gates is based on, and the mysteries that are hidden inside. Johnny Depp travels all over Europe and gets involved in murder, theft and of course Satanic rituals.
Honestly, this is one of my favorite horror/suspense movies. It keeps you guessing on what is going to happen next and what will be revealed once the mystery is solved.
Emmanuelle Seigner and Lena Olin are the two female leads in the film and proceed to tempt and seduce Johnny Depp, leading to some steamy scenes that border on sadistic.
If you are used to the blood and guts/serial type horror films; or hate movies that deal with the Devil, this might not be for you. But if you like a suspenseful, thriller that keeps you wondering what will happen next and if Lucifer really can be found, then you need to have this movie in your library.
Cuz this movie gives a very big nod to "I would rather rule in Hell, then serve in Heaven."



originally published by contributor AnOriginalDick

Review - Trapped Ashes (2006)




First and foremost i would like to say that I am appalled by the use of nudity and violence just to get over...whether in a movie or a wrestling ring or in a local bar. That being said this movie has blood sucking nipples in it and some pretty good tentacle porn. That's right you read right blood sucking nipples..like fanged leach like boobs. I'm not talking about ex girlfriend leach likeness I'm talking actual blood sucking. This is honestly enough already, I would imagine, for most of you to be looking up this movie, and if your not why not? Are you a sissy? Or maybe not interested in boobs?
if that is the case I'm pretty sure you should just rent Fried Green Tomatoes and call it a night.

Ok, Ok... maybe I was a little overzealous with the boobs and tentacles because this movie is definitely not all wine and roses. The sad fact is the acting, while not being horrible, still isnt sharp and the cinematography, while ok, is a bit home movieish at times. So, ok, there you go... not the best film ever but wait!!! Did you forget about the man eating breasts? I didn't and I'm gonna tell you all about it.

This film features a cast including John Saxon of Enter the Dragon fame and a plethora of young attractive Hollywood types. The cast of characters are all brought together in a an old movie prop house where they soon realize they are trapped. The tour guide, played by Hollywood veteran Henry Gibson, tells them that if they tell their most horrifying stories they might be set free. They all seem to think for some strange reason this is a super idea so they proceed to regurgitate the most horrible things to ever happen to them.

The first story is of a young actress though attractive cannot get jobs because her breasts aren't big enough. So as people tend to do she agrees to receive breasts from a cadaver from a rather shady doctor. Well it seems to work scoring her more jobs and fame until one night her boyfriend wakes up after being bitten by her nipples.....yup....her nipples. well if I tell you much more i will take all the fun out of it, but suffice to say it isn't what you think it is..and if it is then i would rather not be your friend cause you are very odd sir.
The second story is of a couple that travels to Japan to only end up being greeted by an evil Japanese spirit that tentacle rapes the woman.....yup....Japanese anime style even. The anime segments are well done and seem to fit the story.
The third story is of a man who laments taking his friends love only to find out later she and his friend were nothing like they seemed.
The final tale is of a girl with a very odd twin...OK its a tapeworm...that's right a tapeworm......a GIANT tapeworm.

Alright all the boobs and tapeworms aside this movie isnt overly scary. Its like "is this chicken still good?" scary. There are no big chills or things jumping out, but there are some very nice "really?" moments. In fact, this movie isnt overall good ... just sorta average overall. The reason to watch this movie isnt for the cinematography but for the odd choices for the stories used. If it wasnt for the oddity of this film it would be another unremarkable outer limits style film. Buuuuuuuut it is odd and i think enjoyable in that way. Will it reinvent the wheel? no. Will it make you look under your bed for ghouls? no. Will it make you cook your meat more thoroughly? quite possibly. In the end isnt that enough? Well... that and the blood sucking boobs.


originally posted by contributor David Winterborne

Review- Supernatural (Season 6)


Do you like horror? Do you like blood? Do you like sarcasm? Do you like demon hunters? Then Supernatural is the show for you. The writing and producing of Ben Edlund of The Tick fame really shines in this....well..supernatural series.

If you have never seen an episode your in luck cause they are all on DVD and are all great. But in all honesty if your reading this then I bet you have. ...So I'm gonna just go ahead and skip to this season and give my overview.

The season starts where the last left off...funny how that works right? Dean is happy, Sam is somehow back and soulless, Bobby is drunk (also soulless) and Cas is fighting for the throne of heaven..no biggie. This season had alot of promise and i do believe it met most of it. Buuuut and its sorta a big one..like Sir Mixalot liked. As i was saying buuut with Sam being soulless it doesnt flow quite the same. It just feels a bit off. Dont get me wrong it is kinda fun at times to see Sammy being a bad ass and getting laid quite a bit but just not the same.

Now the season doesn't fall flat because of this just some episodes. In fact Bobby may be funnier than ever and the Faerie episode may top Yellow Fever as the funniest ever.
There is alot to digest in this season and they do a descent job packing it in, though it does seem rushed at times near the end.

In the end I was pleasantly pleased with this latest season and look forward to the new season next year to see where they go after the fairly awesome cliff hanger ending. I will do my best over the next few months to do an episode by episode review/critique of this last season for your reading pleasure. If you haven't yet watched this season it is in re runs and it is highly recommended.


originally posted by contributor David Winterborne

Review - Priest


Do you remember when there were scary vampires? I mean don't get me wrong the amount of product in Robert Pattinson hair is very fear inducing to me personally. The fact that vampires have been neutered and covered in sparkles is something I personally hate. My favorite vampire is the Nosferatu-looking menacing kind. I like a vamp that induces fear and not weakness in the knees of the ladies. Luckily for me, Priest came along and gave me some ravenous vamps to look up to.
Priest is based on the graphic novel written by Min-Woo Hyung. The story is that of humanity's centuries old battle with the vampires. In this tale vampires are bloodthirsty, very fast, very strong beasts. The human race over the centuries has barely survived the fight and the only reason they have is that the sun harms the vamps. As time progresses the world is increasingly torn apart by the battle and is only saved when the church cultivates soldiers ordained by god himself. These soldiers are called priests and are just as fast and strong as the menace they face. The preists do a very good job of erradicating the threat, almost too good. When the last major hive is taken down the church moves the populace into gaurded walled city that are completely controled by them. The priests are decommissioned and forced to lead normal lives. This is where the movie actually begins.
This film picks up after things have been quiet for a relatively long time. The main character called Priest(Paul Bettany) is called back into service when his family is attacked by a roving pack of vamps. The church denies his request to reacctivate and he less than politely does it anyway. He teams with an ex-priest played by Maggie Q and the young boyfriend of his niece played by Cam Gigandet. As a treo they tear ass across the desert in search of answers and only find more questions. The questions do get answered by another ex priest(Karl Urban) who while no longer a priest definitely has a brand new bag.
Ok brass tacks time. This film gets alot right, I mean alot. The effects are dynamic, the scares are at the level they should be, the action is fast and brutal and the use of weaponry is very unique. The vamps excrete a great kinda goo that is everywhere and the familiars they use to do their bidding are nice and creepy.
Bettany does a good job of being a low key badass. This should come as no shock for those who have seen Legion. In the same way Urban does a good job being foreboding in a "man with no name" kinda way and the vampires really set a good tone for the film.
Priest is directed by Scott Charles Stewart who also directed Legion. I really like his edge in these two films. Mr Stewart is very straight forward and unflinching in his use of violence and blood, he tends to gives no quarter to men, women or children. This gives the viewer a feeling anyone can be next. The other thing i enjoyed about his direction was his use of light and dark. When the sun is out it is REALLY out. It feels like they are really in the desert it is set in.
The film does have some flaws. Im not completely sure they are flaws for the kinda film it is but more of a rehash. It felt as if I were maybe watching Mad Max at some points. This may be of course because anything post apocalyptic kinda reminds me of Mad Max. It feels of steam punk and dirt and im not sure if its bad but kinda stale. I do believe that maybe it suffers from other films doing it maybe slightly better first. I guess my major gripe would be that the dialogue feels stale and very "action movie" like. Lotsa very dire quotes and just splashes of off-hand comedy. This film coulda used a little bit of lightheartedness to cut the grim nature.
I would say though all in all it is a much better than average film. If you are going to this movie to see Citizen Cain 2 then you will be sadly mistaken. In that vein though if you are wanting to see a fresh take on what a vampire is and a good action movie then this is your film. As a action horror film id give it a 3 outta 5.




originally posted by contributor David Winterborne

TV - The Devil's Tomb (2009)


Soooooo cuba gooding jr...he won an oscar right? Just making sure...because now he is doing direct to dvd cinematic gems like the Devils Tomb. Not to say hes isn't joined by a rather well versed and fairly big named cast... I mean Ron Perlman, Jason London, Ray Winstone, Bill Moseley, Taryn Manning and my personal favorite Henry Rollins. So im not really sure what to think of this film. It isnt bad but it isn't that great either. It has a very good cast and the effects arent bad at all, but the acting, especially on the oscar winners part, is subpar at best.
That being said the plot goes a little something like this: (stop me if you have heard this one) a military unit and their cia handler walk into an abandoned research facility in the mid east to "retrieve" a man(perlman). As far as they know this is theyre only mission BUT as things do tend to go they are very, very wrong. As they search the abandoned facility they soon realize it is far from abandoned and they are greeted by mutilated seemingly religious nigh indistructable zealots. I mean like Tick nigh indestructable; lots o' bullets and nothing doin. The movie does pick up quite a bit though round this point with the team doing the obligatory "let's split up" manuever.
As each mini team searches the find out that physical peril isn't their only problem. They all experience different things with some satisfyingly gruesome results. Those who make it then get to meet my favorite B movie/stand up/ spoken word/ musical artist Henry Rollins (as a side note ive met Henry and he is a gem..just a gem of a man. anywho)..Mr Rollins plays a priest who tells a story of woe to the crew about what is really down there with them. This is of course the twist..so i wont ruin it..but suffic to say it isnt maybe possibly what u think it might be..vague enough for ya? Good. Lets move on. Oh and did i mention the whole time good old cuba is having oscar esque dramatic flashbacks to an old battle that does more to derail the film than to push the story along? By the end of the film i was so unenthused by who lived and who died and why they did or didn't that i just didnt care about the semi twist at the end.
This movie has its ups downs and ebs and flows. it seems that maybe it tries to be a buncha descent premises but doesnt quite hit any of them. i mean if they woulda just picked a hole and boned it i woulda been alot happier. that being said this film had good effects, some descent scares. The bad part to me is everyone in this film has enough cred to do a much better job. I mean its just kinda bland. The dialogue and delivery is just cardboardish. I know its straight to dvd but with this cast it shoulda been better.
so whats this all add u too? well not ed wood movie bad but not major release good. So i guess its right where its supposed to be in the straight to dvd realm. Im sure theyre are better movies that address these same things and use this kinda religious iconography, but do they have Hellboy and Radio in them? Hmmm? Well? I didnt think so.

review - We are the Night


I was going to start this review out with a little dissertation on how women are crazy even when they are undead... and then I thought better of it... Eastern European women are crazy even when they're undead. Now that I've alienated half my audience... We Are the Night is not about the crazy undead of the female variety, although it might appear that way on the surface. In fact, much unlike its English dubbed trailer leads you to believe, We Are the Night is actually very much about despondency and loneliness... ok, it might also be about schmokin hot lesbian vampires too... and thank God, right?!?!? All that loneliness gets a little depressing unless you throw in a little Transylvanian girl-on-girl!!! Woot!!! Dat's wat I's sayin!!! Ahem... We Are the Night might be misinterpreted as a movie that panders to the club going, sexually experimental, feminist ravers that, for the most part, are the cardboard cut out vamps of a lot of b-movie fare as of late. If that is all you take away with you, then you have missed one of the better vampire films to come out. One that I feel falls in the same arena as Let The Right One In, Near Dark, and their deserving contemporaries.

Lena (Karoline Herfurth) lives a life dominated by running from the police, pickpocketing and navigating the German underground. Her life seems pointless, without substance, and more importantly without a sense of hope. Through her somewhat less than noble lifestyle Lena meets an overzealous adrenaline junkie cop, Tom (Max Riemelt) and three energetic, rebellious, glamorous and dangerous club goers: Louise, Charlotte and Nora.

**SPOILERS**

Ringleader of the three enigmatic, Louise (Nina Hoss), takes an instant liking to Lena's fiery spirt and inducts her into the supernatural world of the vampire. Tom continues to search for Lena whose free spirit has interested him as well and a very untraditional love triangle follows. 

The story here is simple enough and the conflict is as tired as the premise of most vampire movies to date. Lena rejects her new vampire habits, condemns her peers for their bloodlust and seeks to pursue Tom's affections. Again, I said simple and tired, right? C'mon... I can still have self awareness and like this movie... Don't hate!!! It is director Dennis Gansel that takes the tale and gives it life that reaches beyond the story. Gansel's vampires are struggling to hold on to anything that gives them humanity, and, in doing this, makes them somewhat more human than they're breathing counterparts. They are tragic, they are hopeless, and their animosity allows them to stave their misgivings, losing themselves in indulgences, creating each moment with enough intensity to erase those before it. We get the feeling that this is cheap band-aid psychological reparations and each vampire in the original core three is slowly losing themselves to their own despair. Louise has created a war on men, both alive and undead, almost singlehandedly wiping out the male population of bloodsuckers. Charlotte is lost in her bygone days of the roaring twenties, never giving up the grief that she felt for her loved ones, while Nora is living the life of a spoiled teenager, looking for the affections of men that she is doomed to destroy. They are sisters in bondage and Lena starts a chain of events that leads each to greater examine their immortality. It is Louise that struggles to create a world where she can no longer cling to humanity, finding companionship so strong and eternal that no world, living or undead has to matter anymore. Lena represents her golden ticket and it ultimately, is her undoing. 

German language with English subtitles, We Are the Night is heavy on atmosphere, not so much on dialogue and allows the actors to emote with more than just their words. Karoline Herfurth takes full advantage of this and allows it to flesh out a character that at times the script neglects to do. Max Riemelt feels the stiffest here, but slides easily into the love interest role and doesn't distract from the real star here which is Torsten Breuer's cinematography. Shot for shot, this is a gorgeous film. Breuer and Gansel manage to submerge their nocturnal shots in brilliant, saturated color while keeping our daytime in We Are the Night monochromatic and cold. The movie's pace is just right for its content and the conclusion is a torrent of rollercoaster camera theatrics. We Are the Night might not satisfy the most critical of vampire enthusiasts, but it holds its own enough to warrant repeat viewings and a place side by side some of the sub-genre's best offerings. Highly Recommended.

Review - John Carpenter's the Ward


I love Carpenter's early body of work. the Thing actually stands as one of my favorite horror films of all time. I love the sense of dread of Prince of Darkness and Halloween is forever etched into the pop consciousness of this country. Escape from New York gave us the template for the iconic 80s era action movie bad ass. Carpenter's latter works fell a little flat for me, admittedly (In the Mouth of Madness an obvious exception). It was with a little trepidation that I set out to watch his return to celluloid, The Ward.

I'll start out by saying that The Ward is a good film. Its actually a really good film. Carpenter plays this one straight and lays heavy on the suspense. The overall ideas and themes in The Ward are probably some of the smallest and most focused that Carpenter has attempted since Halloween and it shows. We spend time with our characters in The Ward and we begin to adopt a little of their paranoia, panic and claustrophobia. it doesn't hurt that Carpenter has still kept his casting edge and Amber Heard, Danielle Panabaker and others provide a great sounding board for his decisions.

The Ward benefits more by saying less. It is this subtlety that compliments the picture's every frame and ultimately results in a unexpected and surprisingly satisfying conclusion. It boasts some of Carpenter's most mature filmmaking to date and reminds us why he is as iconic a genre filmmaker today as he once was when he first made a name for himself. Highly recommended.

The Ward is available in the US in selected cities July 8th and on Bluray and DVD this August.




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Review - Stakeland



Jim Mickle's Stake Land ( available now on VOD) proves two things:

1. Successful horror movies not only realize their own limitations, but are able to play off of them effectively, making them work towards the story instead of against it and...

2. In Stake Land, only rednecks can hear you scream... oh yeah... apparently when the vampire apocalypse comes the only things left besides the cockroaches are the Duke boys....

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Following the cross country exploits of Mister ( Nick Demici) and his helper Martin (Connor Paolo) as they battle their way through a vampire ravaged America after Martins's family is savagely murdred..err...eaten... Stake Land takes itself just seriously enough that the action, when it comes, never feels tired or old hat... just necessary. That is probably one of the stronger aspects of the film, and one that, in the end, makes it so successful. Stake Land manages to introduce a very large idea without making it bloated or a parody of itself. It hits the notes exactly as it should, and although it slows down a little towards the end of the second act, it keeps us interested by filling it with characters, even those that are only brief in the appearances.

Don't get me wrong when I nitpick for a bit of a lag. The boys and new recruit Belle (Danielle Harris) have plenty to do between saving nuns, escaping religious zealots and ultimately going head to head with holy roller turned uber vamp, the head of "the brotherhood". The threats in Stake Land are all very real and add to the idea that the solidarity and safety of this country hangs tenuously by some very flimsy threads. It is in fact, the sociopolitical messages that people might find a little preachy here. They are ever present and definitely reinforce the overall dissent that gas prices and the war on terror have brought upon American's citizens.

Ok, ok... let's get to the the meat of the matter... how are the vampires? The great thing about Stake Land is that in the strength of its characters we are able to see the vampires for exactly what the filmmakers intended them to be... a nice gory backdrop to a really nice, memorable character study. HOWEVER, in case you feel that was a bit of a cop out.... the vampires don't waste any time in Stake Land. They are animals, they are a sickness and they are EXTREMELY aggressive. We don't get bogged down in the science of it, but there is enough exposition to tell us that there are different kinds, some harder to kill than others, and, like most viruses, the plague has the ability to mutate.

Oh... yeah, you get plenty of Deliverance extras here.. enough to shake your banjo, webbed feet and prehensile tails at. We do get the sense though that the better part of the country has been turned into Flint, MI, so it doesn't seem like a reach. Being a midwest native, I had a few flashbacks and even found myself errantly praying to the patron saint of pig squealing man-love, Ned Beatty.

Stake Land has gained a lot of acclaim in the horror community and it shows a self awareness that although might seem heavy on the message, is definitely welcomed in an industry that is increasingly mired in reboots, remakes and and endless direct to video sequels. Mickle is definitely a fresh voice and one to keep our eyes on. Highly Recommended.

Review - Scream 4


meh. I used to hate that word. I've seen it used in more reviews and movie talkbacks than I can count. To be able to sum up another's creative efforts with one wholly indifferent word reeked of pomposity. I hated it. Yet, as I walked out of the theater after seeing Scream 4 I used this word. Sure it might have just been part of an inner monologue caught between masturbatory fantasies of the 19 Year old sitting in the aisle in front of me with absolutely no regard to the visibility of her thong (thank you Victoria's Secret. You like me, you really like me) and the thought of another tub of coronary inducing buttered kernels, but it was there. It was also exactly what I thought of Scream 4.

Pandering to the teen crowd doesn't just annoy me... It downright infuriates me. Fuck your demographics and weekend returns. Horror movies are made to get teens to SNEAK INTO THEM. Let's let R.L. Stine and Christopher
Pike start their own franchises and bring back the hard R horror film. Scream 4 does little to support my cause. Although the film does support an R rating, it barely slides under the door with it. The movie itself feels so very PG-13 that It even carries all of the watered down stamps of most of it's contemporaries.

I was a fan of the Scream franchise. A series of films that still managed to be fun despite of their own self awareness, Wes Craven managed to give us a new horror icon set in a universe where Wes Craven could easily play himself and it would be par for the course. The films, flawed as the later chapters might have been, painted a fairly pretty mosaic of a new horror generation, one that knew "the rules" and had fun with them without sacrificing the suspense or the actual threat of the film's who-done-it man in the mask. This raised the bar for the witty, thinking man's horror film. Scream 4 tries to limbo under the bar only to land flat on it's back, wheezing, feeling it's age.

The biggest problem with Scream 4 lies in it's reluctance to choose any definitive identity. the word "reboot" is thrown around so often that we are led to believe that that is the angle the film is vying for, BUT reboot is a far cry when the main cast returns, if only to serve as an anchor to keep the story from delivering nothing more than another cookie cutter teen slasher film. Which is exactly what we are dished up. Campbell's Sydney returns to spit in the face of our villain, but we are left with such a facsimile of the original character that it barely offers a return to the feel of the original. If Williamson's script does anything, it's devalue the original core characters to the point where you're practical rooting for their mercy killing by the third act. More of a deffamation than reboot, Scream 4 lingers on reboot and then flirts with homage, but the heart just isn't there. The result is a film that shouts "in with the old, out with the new, Yet is so tied to its conventions that it flounders in it's own indecision. In the end it feels like a movie that is so desperate to capture a new younger market that it actually pretends to hate the very older characters that could have saved it.

Arquette and (Cox) Arquette are here, but the chemistry apparently died along with their marriage as there is simply not enough for them to do but weakly parody their characters. The younger characters are so uninteresting that we simply don't care what the hell they do at all. The first Scream accomplished something very unique by putting believable characters in a scenario that they themselves acknowledged was "right outta a horror movie". Sce4m (ugh) disregard characters all together in favor of occasionally winking at the audience and ribbing them while saying "hey, you get it... Cuz we still get it, right? Ummm... No.

Was it good to see Sydney, Dewey and Gail Weathers back on the big screen... Of course, it was. I just think they deserved better.



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Review - insidious

oh Insidious...my mother tried to warn me about you.... You smooth talkin little pg-13 number. I had my guard up too.. I wasn't about to let your first and second acts woo me into a false sense of security. After all, this is'nt my first rodeo you know. I know better than this.. I really do. You came on strong and told me everything that I wanted to hear... You provided an easy to follow plot with plenty of tension and well acting. You had me all figured out. A couple of drinks later and i'm naked in a truck stop bathroom, trying to find my cell phone and the faint hint of ether still hangs in the air.. I thought you loved me...

OK... Now that I've been to group and have the emotional tool sets to cope, lemme give you my real insidious review. Hold on... What I meant to say is, " let me preface my Insidious review." I am in the business of horror movies. I have seen the good, the bad, the weird and the batshit intolerable ones. An homage to me at this point is useless. Most modern horror films are already homages, minus the self awareness that makes them endearing. ( see my Scream 4 review)

Thus now beginneth the odyssey that is my mixed feelings on Insidious. Insidious gets so much right that I can't seem to understand why I'm finding it so hard to look past it's flaws. Insidious opens with such an oppressive heavy feeling of dread that it's hard not to be affected by the tone of this picture. It is the tone of Insidious that automatically Draws you into it. It establishes a universe that is easy to believe and easy to live in for the duration of the film. It is a universe very much like our own with a couple who could easily be your next door neighbors. They are unspectacular and ordinary in all the right ways and add to the general believability that is one of insidious's many strengths. Make no mistake, Insidious works.. It works so well on so many different levels that it feels like little more then a cheap shot when i start to point out it's weaknesses.

I love the paranormal. For all it's nerdy chicanery, the world of the paranormal is still a fun and provocative place. Maybe it is my decade long inundation of this world that ultimately starts to pull me out of the Insidious universe. You see, I am more of a journey than a destination guy. Endings rarely give me the kind of gratification that getting there does (don't let this disuade you from trying ladies.. Ziiiiing!!!!). "The Further"' the mystical Pangea that connects our world to another for those unluckiest of astral travelers who reach it, works better as an unseen threat. The moment we enter The Further, we enter into a navigable world with rules, guidelines and limitations. It is here that Insidious's creep factor starts to drop off sharply.

One of the good things about Insidious is that it has come out in a time where the horror genre is so steeped in pointless torture porn clones that even when it comes dangerously close to ripping off some of it's predecessors (again, sometimes an homage in all it's flattery can still seem unnecessary when the plot device mimicked is a central crux to the story) it is almost welcome. In all sincerity there are many, many good things about insidious including all of the fine performances turned in from Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne and the rest of the cast, including Barbara Hershey.
It is Lin Shaye that does a pretty good Zelda Rubinstein and makes her part one of the most memorable (sad it is though I will always remember her from the farrely's brothers' Kingpin - "what is it about good sex that always makes me have to crap?"

Insidious's score is really the trump card here. Joseph Bishara has brought the heebyjeebies and his a game giving every moment of the film a lush texture of anxiety and fear. For those of you that miss the film's finer visual points, it's hard to knock this soundtrack, one of the better I've heard from a horror offering in years.

Insidious is memorable, even if some of those memories may seem a little "borrowed". Recommended.

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Review - Battle: Los Angeles






Let's be honest. Battle: Los Angeles is not going to revolutionize the sci-fi genre in any way shape or form. Keeping with that honesty though, let's also not deny that Spring 2011 is the best possible time to release this aliens vs. military in an "us or them" battle royal. This movie most likely would have been squashed had it come out anywhere near a Summer 2011 movie season of expected blockbusters featuring super heroes, Autobots, teenaged wizards, pirates, cowboys, and yet more aliens.
At the core of it all, Battle: Los Angeles is in my estimation, an attempt at a hybrid of science fiction and war films. I say "attempt" in the sense that only one perspective is showcased, that of human beings, the military soldiers and the citizens.The science fiction aspects are wisely underplayed, because the strength of this very basic plot, as written by Christopher Bertolini, is a tale of survival. Make no mistake in genre designations: ultimately this is an action film that, true to form, features sometimes groan inducing dialogue to accompany crowd pleasing special effects. Who are we under attack from? How do we overcome this challenge to life as we know it? Is there any chance of survival? As a culture and society, we have come to absolutely expect terrorism from other countries ...but what about an invasion from a technologically superior race of alien beings? If the example set by a flooded New Orleans and a disgraceful, incompetent F.E.M.A. tell us anything, it's that we have to hope true leadership will guide us through the darkest times that some of us have only glimpsed in the very worst of our night terrors.
Oh, screw it. Let's just shoot the bad guys already and blow some space ships up.
If there is anything to nitpick about the movie, aside from the paper thin "they must be here to take our natural resources" plot, it is in character development. People are going to die but when you build certain characters and then kill them before you have any real reason to care about them there's not much impact made on the viewer. The soldiers are mostly interchangeable uniforms and are cookie cutter predictable. This is not G.I. Joe by any stretch of the imagination. (Did I just pay this film a compliment?)
Battle: Los Angeles is entirely serviceable as 116 minutes of pop corn eating entertainment. Does it leave you begging for "battles" in Chicago, New York, etc. ? No. Does it have the political and emotional undertones of District 9? No, of course not. Different intents and different visions at work. That being said, with "the people of Earth vs. invaders from another planet" theme, was it an upgrade from the Will Smith vehicle Independence Day? Yup. Jonathan Liebesman, director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, continues to solidify his reputation as someone who's not going to turn heads during awards season ... while simultaneously not leaving a ticket buyer feeling cheated. He is honest with his audience and has gone on record that this was his attempt at a war film featuring soldiers versus other soldiers who just happened to be of alien origin. Remember, this is science fiction.
Aaron Eckhart, while a far cry from his turn as the Dark Knight's Harvey Dent/Two-Face, does an admirable job in his role of retired Marine Staff Sergeant Michael Nantz who is clearly our heroic leader from the get-go. Actually, he was so believable, I was sitting there thinking this guy really could have pulled off a believable Steve Rogers/Captain America. As mentioned previously, the majority of the cast is given limited material to work with, aside from a somewhat endearing (though predictable) father/son angle.
When it's all said and done, Battle: Los Angeles is a well crafted film that is less fun than Starship Troopers but less depressing than Saving Private Ryan, so let your particular taste and mood guide you towards watching this film as a rental or on Netflix, preferably on a big screen television. One last note to the potential viewer ... beware the confusion with the ScyFy Channel release starring Kel Mitchell, Nia Peeples, and Theresa Jun-Tao ... Battle OF Los Angeles. Yes, that's right. Battle OF Los Angeles. Not sure who's piggy backing who, but it's no shocker that the big screen release is far superior. Let's sum it up like this: one movie boasts Michelle Rodriguez and Bridget Moynahan. The other one? A soldier doing a one handed cartwheel during an "action" sequence. 'Nuff said.

originally posted by contributor AsylumHost76